August 27, 2010

This has been a big week!

On Monday I had my first session with the rehabilitation Institute of St. Louis. The most challenging part of starting this new endeavor is confronting how much my legs have degenerated in both their strength and flexibility through the years. My old paradigm, the one that has been running me through all these years has been “I can do it”. Monday after being humbled by the experience and the challenge of not being able to walk well on the light streid treadmill has made me ever more present to the chronic nature of my disease as well as the importance of what I am doing right now that will make a difference in the future.

Meredith Whitehead who is my new physical therapist has only given me two assignments. Stretch my calf muscles and the to groin muscles long and short as well as walk with as little pressure on my walker as possible every day. That assignment I can do and will do.

On Wednesday we had a little miscommunication at the front desk that had me waiting for about 25 minutes prior to me asking if they had contacted Meredith to let her know I was waiting. As a result of this miscommunication Meredith and I agreed from this point forward I would sign in and meet her up on the 3rd floor which is where the therapy studio for inpatient rehabilitation takes place.

We tried something new to support the recovery of my quads and my hamstrings and that is adding electrical stimulation while I am on the bike fo and r 10 minutes with a two minute cool down. Initially it felt like a bee sting on my legs. Meredith then dialed it down so I could feel it but didn’t have the experience of discomfort. The goal next week is to bike for 10 minutes cool down for two minutes and walk directly to the light stride to continue to work out.

Last night Mary and I attended an introduction to the landmark forum, lead by Mick Leavitt. Every time I attend an introduction to the landmark forum I come away having gotten tremendous value and moved by what a difference this education makes for our world. During the introduction we looked at the area’s of life that are working and not working. At the top of my list as areas of my life that are working was my health team. Their positive attitude and the vision and the listening that has been provided for me is extraordinary. I am so grateful to all my friends who only see me walking again.

It is confronting for me to share with others who have known me for many years the vision of walking again. What automatically comes up for me is my fear that it won’t happen or that I’m going to look stupid after having done all this work and spent all this money. However, it is the future that I am living into that creates the reality of in the present. And, my word create my reality. I would love this to be a miraculous moment when I just got out of my chair and walked. As Leslie Levine shared with me on Saturday I am in the middle of a miracle, however it takes time to heal nerves that have been damaged by my chronic condition.

I created last night during the introduction to the landmark forum the possibility of being inspired every day starting with my walking and continuing with my exciting projects which includes the renovation of 101 Graybridge Rd. for our aging populace and science Saturday conversation for students as well as the transformation of St. Louis into the most courteous and respectful city in the country. If I continue to be inspired every day and live into that future, I will someday look back knowing I had a successful and fulfilled life. What could be better than that?

I’m getting excited about walking today!

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