Happy Anniversary!
This morning I was looking at a photo of Mary and me on our wedding day. It is somewhat coincidental that I would find this photo as I was passing by her desk in our office. There it was for me to see. Mary in her bridal gown and me in my tuxedo with big smiles on our faces feeling pretty happy about getting to do life together.
As I looked at it the first thing that came into my thoughts were “We looked so young” and the second thought was “What a happy day!”
No one knows what life will bring in the way of challenges and gifts along the path of marriage. It is human to only look for the best in our futures. And, thank goodness we do fir the most part see positive future. However, the truth that always touches me is that we really don’t know how life is going to go! As a child I always wanted to have my future told to me by a fortune teller who would tell me all the good things about my life in the future. At that innocent time in my life I was expecting to hear great things that would feed and confirm my dreams of fame and fortune. Today I really don’t want to know the future. Knowing the future would be distracting. Unlike when I was a child I don’t want to know when I will die or the many ways in which I might be challenged. Or, when or if or how Mary will experience sadness or loss in her life or in our life together as we grow older.
Although we have had things to deal with by my degenerating health, the loss of jobs and having to continually re-create who we know ourselves to be we have grown in a profound way. We have made critical decisions which have come from our core values and core purpose in life. For Mary and I this shared vision has made all the difference.
Our core purpose: “To expand our lives and those of others through LOVE ROMANCE and PARTNERSHIP”.
I never thought I could allow myself to love in such a deep way. The biggest fear for me is the fear of loosing Mary. During my single days, my friend Jeff Cook and I were having dinner. Or conversation turned to relationships. I asked him what he liked most about Rebecca. He said to me he admired Rebecca more than any other woman he had ever dated. I was maybe expecting like she was the sexiest, loving, fun, most beautiful person he had ever dated and she may be all those things to Jeff as well. But what he said was he admired her. That really landed for me and continues to land for me more and more everyday in my life with Mary. I admire her! It has come from a depth in intimacy that has been created and cultivated through our challenging and rewarding times. Mary will sometime catch me smiling at her. She will ask WHAT? And all that is there for me to say is, “I am so lucky”.
Remember the movie with Cameron Diaz, “There’s something about Mary”. Well in my life for the past thirteen years, I had the privilege of observing an amazing woman in our world.
Since we have gotten married, we have embraced every part of life inside the context of a unpredictable health condition. Being proactive, we renovated our home to make it function perfectly for the rest of our lives. We have transformed our expectations for our future from innocent optimism to powerful realism. Today we have four grandchildren who inspire us with their honesty and energy. I have created a business knowing that if we live long enough we will all need a home without limits and I have complete cooperation and agreement from Mary. What a gift!
Thank you Mary for the best thirteen years of my life…. I love you!
