August 11, 2009

Yesterday as I walked for that 50 minutes I was reminded of the days when I was increasing my distance as a runner. As I got further and further from home I would often ask myself what have I done and can I actually do this? As I was approaching the Rebbe driveway those thoughts were running through my head.

When I woke up this morning at about 4:15 am, I couldn’t help but think of my friend Troll who passed away from Cancer. I was moved by the extraordinary people who are praying for me and visualizing me walking again. Susan Zuckerman told me she had a dream that I was walking. Mary told me this morning that she is afraid that it is more positive thinking than real even though she is seeing the many small signs of reversal of the symptoms.

Shawn asked me to be aware of experiences of my earlier life that came to mind as I go through this process. I mentioned this feeling of freedom from the center of my chest and solar plexus. The experience of running freely outside and skipping and playing with friends on the way to doing something totally fun.

Shawn has guided me to the Rehabilitation Institute of St. Louis where I will schedule an evaluation with two experts in the world of rehabilitation. Shawn believes that walking suspended on a tread mill should reduce the spasticity and give me freedom of movement like I haven’t had for many, many years.

Today we spent a lot of time stretching and meditating while I was being stretched. We then waked into the studio and I did some standing and squatting exercises. The standing was to use very little assistance so I will begin to relate to walking and standing through my legs not my eyes and my hands.

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